Monthly Visit (IWSG)

Well, friends, I am sad to say that not much has changed since last month. Work is still kicking my butt and writing has been taking a back seat. It's always embarrassing when the first Wednesday of the month rolls around and I realize that I haven't managed to pump out a single blog and my book progress is atrocious. That being said, work really has been kicking my butt. Oh yeah, and the Wombat has been suffering through a mid-life crisis at the unripe age of 25, and frankly, it's taken a toll. That being said, I am hopeful to say that we are on the upswing, and as is my nature - when I am on the upswing I like to up the ante. Anti? Antee? Ante... We'll go with that.

Goal time. We will be having the good fortune of being able to fly back home to our Portland roots in the upcoming, and will be seeing some of our awesome fam. This got me thinking, "Wow, when people ask me how my book is going (cause at least one will probably ask), what do I want to be able to say?" That got me ruminating. I thought, "Maybe if I can say I am halfway, I'll feel like I am sharing good news!" So I made that goal. However, I then realized that I was pretty close to that point and if that's all I required of myself between now and then, I would be making it nigh-on impossible to achieve my extraordinarily vague long term goal.

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So I coaxed out the Wombat and we got to work - which typically means he listens like the Saint that he is while I ramble off ideas and reasons and ho and hum for exorbitant lengths of time. Eventually, Saint Wombat and I emerged triumphant and walking right alongside us was Mr. Insecurity.

You see, I am pretty careful to only make goals that are achievable. After all goal's need to be "S.M.A.R.T." - and A stands for Achievable... but... I am at that uncomfortable desperate point in which my greatest motivation to complete my book in the allotted time is that I can't bare for it to take longer than that!

So me and Mr. Insecurity have become unfriendly friends of late. However. If I believe that sometimes, under extreme circumstances you need to fire a friend. Don't give him any advance warning- but I think Mr. Insecurity is gonna be next on the incendiary list.

So here's to new goals! Here's to June 13th! June 13th - the day in which I celebrate the birth of my very best friend Saint Wombat and - if when everything goes right - the day that he celebrates finally getting to finish reading the story that he's had to wait years to get to.

What the hay!?!?! (IWSG)

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Holy cow pie. It's already been a month? I wish that I could say that I had something unique to share - but I am in the exact same spot as I was last month. I have been so busy at my job that I have been struggling to get the writing in. I have fudged in a line or two between patients - oh!oh! and the Wombat and I went to dinner and worked on clarifying one of my characters! That was fantastic! But wow... I feel like I'm sleeping, working, working, trying to keep my home in slight form of order, working... Yeah... You'd think I was making bank with all this working, but... between the car starting to cause some problems and taxes impending... I can't even nix the time prepping food by subsisting on restaurant pho instead. I have a slight glimmer of hope that work is about to level out a little... but I think I still have to figure out a better system - or finally ask if our little clinic is ready to give it's most valuable (meaning 'only') employee a raise :p 

Well- I have many reasons to motivate me - but even if it just means I will have a new topic for next months IWSG - I hereby make a goal to change SOMETHING for the better.

Happy writing out there! 

Sneaky Post (IWSG)

I'm being sneaky and writing up a quick post from work about work for IWSG! We had a couple slow months there during the holidays - but here at The Clinic we have entered January with vigor and vim! We are super busy, and I have lots of what I call "ExtraCurricular" work to do: flyers to make, handouts to BS into something not BS. I have been working longer hours and my to-do list grows twice as long with every task I complete. I haven't been this busy with work in... well, actually, ever. I've worked long hours and other jobs before - but I've never been as invested as I am here. I'm the only other member of a two person machine! I care about it functioning optimally and I'm invested in it's success. That's before I even get to the stuff I might be included into with the franchise aspect of the clinic. So I am busy - super busy.

I am also on day 19 of my 21 day cleanse and I feel great! This made this last month a little harder - but the truth is I am feeling fan-freaking-tastic now. I have energy, clarity, drive! Which coupled with the aforementioned busyness means that I have luckily had enough energy to take care of some of the mess that is my home as well - which has gotten one person messier since we took in my brother-in-law to live with us (bless his heart, he is minimally helpful, but you can only have such high expectations from someone come down with Epstein-Barr - so I practice patience, and use a little of my very blessed extra energy to take care of the extra mess too).

So my productivity is through the roof of late - which has had both a positive and negative effect on my writing. I have energy and gumption so I have still been doing some writing and I feel like writing all the time! However, for the first time in my life I can genuinely say that I am struggling to find time to write! I have started pecking out words-at-a-time pieces on my iPad in between charting for the doc during patients appointments- but that's pretty hard. It's hard to try to trickle out creativity in between all the logical work. I would consider turning into one of those late night writers - but the truth is - I can't do that anymore without consequences - and knowing how good I can feel and how much I can get done when I feel that good is something I am not willing to compromise on a regular basis.

I have not lost hope, by any means but I am having to take life with firmness and seriousness - which is both wonderful and a bit intimidating. Here goes!

Take 52 - Action!

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I keep all my writing in Scrivener, and I use the cork board to lay out my prospective scenes. These can end up being one scene or more, depending on where the writing flow takes me. So each week, my goal is to finish one at minimum. For the past two weeks Wombat and I have used this set up as a focus for getting some brainstorming done for the upcoming "note card" on the cork board. It's proven invaluable! He helps me work through possibilities and probabilities. 

However, the other blessing that comes with this- that sometimes feels like a curse - is that the discussion always spreads from specific to broad. We talk about a scene - and then it brings up a question that can only be answered if I really have the purpose and direction of my book figured out. It's everything a writer could hope for, really, to always be fine-tuning and being kept on track with the plot and intent. 

But! It can be so exhausting!

I feel like each week I'm being rocked off my comfortable seat, thinking "Wow, have I really been writing this whole time without having that figured out?" or "Why did I think that was a good reason to move the plot this way? Seems lazy on my part, unnatural for the story progression, and BORING for the reader!" Again. I reiterate - I'm so glad I'm figuring this out as I go - but dagnabbit! why can't I be a genius and have it all figured out from the start? Sometimes I just want it to be easy :p Like filming take after take - I want to have one week where I take that final shot that is exactly what I want! That I can move forward from and not look back at til it's time to edit.

So I guess that's my current insecurity. If every week I have to tweak or go into greater depth to make the over arcing plot work, or the intent and message to be properly sent - will I ever be able to get the whole thing written and fixed, saying what it needs to say? 

Just gotta keep writing forward I guess.

*On a side note - my boss went out of town this week, and left me with projects to do while he's gone. He called me yesterday and told me he'll pay me to hardcore free write for a couple hours about our procedures and my thoughts about what's going well and what needs to be done better and so on, in order for us to become more streamlined and efficient. How awesome is that? Either he's getting to know me, or divine intervention gave him the perfect idea for how to get the best kind of feedback from me. Best. Job. Ever.

Peak-a-Boo!

December 2012? It really has been a long time. I feel somewhat embarrassed, but I have plenty of excuses gathered up to curry forgiveness with. Chief among them, and perhaps the only one I'll take your time to share is that me and the Wombat moved - over 2100 miles!

Yes, ladies and gents, we left the "Keep Portland Weird" slogan toting land of Oregon for the "Keep Austin Weird" slogan toting land of Texas. Most every aspect of our normal life was put on hold for the past several months, but we're here and we're happy.

We've had the great opportunity to get to know some of Wombat's family that we hadn't gotten the opportunity to party with much. The Wombat is falling in love with the computer tech scene. Happy Wombat = Happy Duckie.

Me? I'm working as a personal assistant to Doctor Awesome who I worked with back in Portland last summer. To be frank: I love my job. I'm crazy busy and rocking it. 

In addition, working with Doctor Awesome has re-motivated Wombat and I to improve our health even further. Nothing like a huge change in your life (ie., move thousands of miles) to help you break bad habits and change for the better. We've drastically decreased the amount of grains we're eating, making our meals out of good clean meats, and fresh fruits and vegetables. We aren't perfect and still tend to splurge on the weekends (can anyone say "Hopdoddies" or "The Salt Lick"?) - but during the week we are pwning face. 

Well it's good to be back, and I had fun revamping my blog, but I have to admit, I haven't written much in the past few months. Stress and creativity didn't prove compatible. Wombat and I have been working on some projects that have been inspiring me though, and as I've begun to feel better, I've noticed an increased desire to write. Better Health = Better Writing? I think so. With that said, I think I will join my first blog hop! Get Healthy Blog Hop here I come!

Go Figure, But with Good Humor (IWSG)

I haven't been around much lately. Busy being sick. Apparently I consumed some contaminated water oh- about two months ago - and suffered the consequences - for... about two months! Luckily, my symptoms stayed clear of the more foul and unfriendly side of things - meaning, the bathroom and I did not become partners. Mostly I just felt feverish and miserable. Dr. Kind (that's not his name, but he's not the same doctor as Dr. Cool, and he really is more kind than he is cool) used is magical non-western powers and has helped me get all better. Hurray! Feeling good!

This meant, however, that my writing life was stuffed into a box at the back of my sock drawer, and I spent hours upon hours (*cough* meaning about 90) watching Lost. I did other things too - like dishes and laundry and web surfing and online Christmas shopping - but yes, mostly I let myself be sick, ate lots of homemade chicken noodle soup, and watched T.V. I liked the series. It helped that I knew from the start the big "surprise" at the end. I think too, that I'm pretty forgiving of unexplained things - think it has to do with my love of fantasy. That's not to say that they didn't botch some things pretty bad, but the actual end "surprise" was pretty precious, I thought.

Anyways - as I haven't posted in a month, I suppose the only other big news would be these three things. First, that I had a sort of mishap with my hair. Wombat is awesome and trims my hair for me. He's getting better and better at it! But this time, being the loving and giving Wombat that he is, he sort of tried something new and messed up. He finished, and practically with tears in his eyes, professed that I looked like a recovering cancer patient (absolutely no offence intended). I'm pretty chill about my hair, and assured him that its fine- I'll just be looking like my little brother for awhile. Second, I had my birthday. Hurray! Third, I got a day cut at work, and Wombat gave up a day of work for religious and personal reasons. We'll be fine, but it puts a serious hamper in our goal to save a bunch of money. Oh well, we'll figure it out.

With all of this behind me - the good and the bad - I've finally felt re-inspired to write. Which, of course, means that I've been very busy with other things and haven't had a chance to do very much. My daddy bought me a license for Scrivener for my birthday though, and I'm determined to get back to work. I don't know if the rest of you ever feel like this, but lately, when I've felt like my life has been shaken and I don't know which direction to go - I hang on to the fact that I completely believe that I'm meant to be a writer. Do I feel insecure as a writer? Well, yeah. I feel like a farce much of the time. After all, you can't really be a writer if you don't, ya know, write. It's too important to me to let my struggle with being a "real" writer get in the way of trudging through the blizzard of self-doubt towards real success. It's only a matter of time, practice, and persistence. So here's to all y'all that know you're meant to make it! Keep believing! Let it be a driving force! Renew your efforts! Kick trash! Write! Booya!

Sayonara, Second Time-Sucker!

Ladies and gentleman,

I have the immense pleasure to announce that I have officially sent in my resignation letter for my stressful one day a week cafeteria job. Huzza!

Me and the Duckling Huzzah!-ing it Up

I know, I know - it doesn't sound like much of anything, but I'll tell my short happy story. I used to work at this cafeteria five days a week part-time, until about a year ago, when I picked up my massage job at the chiropractic office. This bumped down my work to only two days a week - Tuesdays (because the office is closed that day) and Thursdays (because I volunteer teach teens dance these nights, and couldn't be available as late as the office would need me). We fast forward to this summer, when I was trained as an assistant for one of the DC's, and picked up work on Thursdays after all, with the understanding that I might cut my hours just a little when dance season started up. 

So, for the past few months I've been working at the cafeteria for a five hour shot early Tuesday mornings. While I don't hate this job... it's immensely stressful. Lots to do, with only me as an actual staff member, and a small gaggle of volunteers to teach, keep busy, and keep from messing up in between getting the stuff done that only I could do. In addition my supervisor - though I love her - could occasionally be a struggle for me to work with. If nothing else, I can attest that I learned both to multi-task very well, and to bite my tongue. 

Actually, I have to admit - in comparison to my other job - which I LOVE - I did hate this cafeteria position - but only when comparing. It was a HUGE blessing to have gotten the position, and I will be somewhat sad to leave it. But lets get to the POINT of this post already!

The real question is why. Why did I leave? Part of it was the stress. My husband was sick of my coming home irritable, unhappy, and in need of a nap (which he usually put me down for like I was a five year old. Seriously, he did.). The second reason was that we didn't really need the extra money. Picking up my assistant position more than covered what my second job was providing. But, lastly, and most importantly - and I might just shed a tear of cherish-ment for my Husby's insistence in this matter - I wanted a day that I could commit to writing. I have spare time already - but, as many of you can attest - writing at the end of a long day at work is hard- and weekends, at least for me, are the time that I run all the errands and pick up all the pieces that fell apart between then and the last weekend. So my Husby decided that I needed to take the only spare day I had to do what I have a passion for. A day that I could blog, brainstorm, and bully words onto the page. A day that would be set aside to do the research, the practice, the everything. While I'm sure I'll periodically hate this new job- ya know, because I'm human like that - I truly couldn't ask for a greater present.

So there you have it folks! I'm a part-time writer! Not a spare-time writer! I'm now an as-many-hours-as-I-can-stay-on-task-on-Tuesday writer! I am ready for the challenge :D