Que Beethoven! NA-NO-RI-MO!

A year later and here we are again. My past attempts at NaNo have not been successful, but my recent success at finishing draft one of my book has taught me part of the reason why NaNo has so entirely eluded me. Different people are motivated by different things, and I have learned that word count does not motivate me. It stuffs me. It keeps all the good stuff in my brain. So instead of following the NaNo Original Rules - I, like many others - am planning a Pseudo-Na-No-Wri-Mo.

I have been outlining Book 2 this month and frankly - planning out a sequel is so much more fun than the first. It's so much easier. I've been having a blast. I don't have everything figured out - but! I have what I expect will be at least 50,000 words. So instead of setting myself those word count goals and stressing about getting that certain number done within the day or the week - I will set my goals based on scenes and sections - it may come out to the right amount or it may not but my chances of getting my PseudoNaNo become realistic. Cop out. I know, but if I could achieve this goal I will be almost half way done with book two in a month instead of a year and a half like the first. Which would be a dream come true. Obviously.

Here's to NaNo2013!

Phase One: Complete! (IWSG)

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A little early - but I am excited. I officially finished the first draft of my book on Saturday. A little bit of a heady experience - it's been a long time since I've finished a book. I'm very excited to complete this stage of the process - very excited. 

I also feel intimidated. For while I enjoy re-writing and editing far more than first draft writing - it's still a monumental task, and I don't feel quite adequate for the job. I've taken so long to write this first draft that I have spent quite a long time, not picking apart, dissecting and improving my writing, and frankly I feel far from talented. My descriptive writing could make me weep if I thought about it too long. I feel like I need to do some writing technique warm ups. So here I reach out to the more practiced! What are your best resources for helping you with your technique? Favorite blogs or books? How do you get your writing properly dressed up? I'm a plain girl, with straight forward to-the-point tendencies - but I need to do some painting instead of bullet pointing. What are you thoughts?

Take 52 - Action!

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I keep all my writing in Scrivener, and I use the cork board to lay out my prospective scenes. These can end up being one scene or more, depending on where the writing flow takes me. So each week, my goal is to finish one at minimum. For the past two weeks Wombat and I have used this set up as a focus for getting some brainstorming done for the upcoming "note card" on the cork board. It's proven invaluable! He helps me work through possibilities and probabilities. 

However, the other blessing that comes with this- that sometimes feels like a curse - is that the discussion always spreads from specific to broad. We talk about a scene - and then it brings up a question that can only be answered if I really have the purpose and direction of my book figured out. It's everything a writer could hope for, really, to always be fine-tuning and being kept on track with the plot and intent. 

But! It can be so exhausting!

I feel like each week I'm being rocked off my comfortable seat, thinking "Wow, have I really been writing this whole time without having that figured out?" or "Why did I think that was a good reason to move the plot this way? Seems lazy on my part, unnatural for the story progression, and BORING for the reader!" Again. I reiterate - I'm so glad I'm figuring this out as I go - but dagnabbit! why can't I be a genius and have it all figured out from the start? Sometimes I just want it to be easy :p Like filming take after take - I want to have one week where I take that final shot that is exactly what I want! That I can move forward from and not look back at til it's time to edit.

So I guess that's my current insecurity. If every week I have to tweak or go into greater depth to make the over arcing plot work, or the intent and message to be properly sent - will I ever be able to get the whole thing written and fixed, saying what it needs to say? 

Just gotta keep writing forward I guess.

*On a side note - my boss went out of town this week, and left me with projects to do while he's gone. He called me yesterday and told me he'll pay me to hardcore free write for a couple hours about our procedures and my thoughts about what's going well and what needs to be done better and so on, in order for us to become more streamlined and efficient. How awesome is that? Either he's getting to know me, or divine intervention gave him the perfect idea for how to get the best kind of feedback from me. Best. Job. Ever.

"Rifftrax: Because Some Movies Have It Coming" and Goals

"Hey Bella! Come liven up our discussion with your bubbly personality!"

"Sorry, can't socialize, obsessed with crappy book series."

                            - Rifftrax, Twilight

It's really probably not funny at all if you haven't actually watched the Rifftrax (see link), but when I started formulating the idea for this post, it  brought that particular line to mind. I've been meaning to put together a post for awhile, but... well... I've been too busy writing my book (and of course, the whole working, errands, etc. which is boring to go into detail about).

I finally decided that with the rough draft over half way written, it deserved to be treated like a good roller coaster ride - heading down off the big curve. I knew that I could "easily" finish it before the end of the year, which was a "phantom goal" I had set, but when it came right down to it, that was just too unstructured and too much time to feel motivated about.

Now, when it comes to goal making, I have the perfect coach: Wombat. Because when it suits him, he can think like this:

So I sat down with him, and we talked about goal making and we came up with a couple reasonable expectations and end dates. He even made me a little graph to fill in and keep track of how I'm doing - so I can clearly see if I'm falling behind, and how much, or if I'm exceeding my expectations and how well. 

I now have two weekly goal possibilities: Ideal and Bare Minimum. Ideal would mean finishing my book by August 18th - which is a significant challenge for me at this point. Bare Minimum will get me to an end date of September 29th which is my Super Goal end date. Lastly, giving myself space for life's intervention (ie, our summer vacation, etc.), without being too lenient is the Bare Minimum End Date of October 15th. 

It sounds over complicated, but it graphs out very simply and helps me feel excited. The sooner the goal, the more motivated I feel, but the reasonable goals, keep me from feeling stressed when life gets in the way. So far, I'm on track... but then, it's only been a week. Gotta get back to work!

"Ah-ha!" Moment

It's Tuesday! Tuesdays are my official writing days. I try to treat it like a job and be lotsa productive. I woke up prepared for this - but after about an hour I still haven't written anything. Instead I dabbled on Facebook - got riled up by political and religious posh thereon - and decided for my health's sake I'd stay away from that for awhile. Looking for distraction, I went looking at some blog posts and laughed my tookus off watching the video on Lisa Ann's blog. Then, in an attempt to get closer to writing - I opened up Scrivener AND my Liquid Story Binder. Then through a small series of unimportant events I found myself in an "Ah-ha!" moment.

You, see I've worked on three major book projects in my ickle life. The first I wrote when I was... say... 14? It wasn't til a couple years ago, when I found the printed manuscript that, I realized that I had in fact written a book from start to finish. How cool! I hadn't remembered this.

The second book project was called Banded. I worked on this for years - probably from 15ish to 22ish. It just kept evolving and changing and it wasn't until the last year of working on it that I finally put my foot down and decided what I wanted. I practically scrapped it and started from the beginning. I then realized that it couldn't be my break-out book, so I shelved it. This was significant, because  the other day after reading someone's post, I though, "Could I really shelve a manuscript? Could I really make myself let go and move on to more perhaps greater projects? Would my arrogance allow?" (I recently realized that I am in fact arrogant. It seems being arrogant makes it hard to see your own arrogance.) Turns out I've already shelved two manuscripts.

I'm working on the third right now which has the working title of Unbanded (yes, yes, my creativity is earth shaking- astounding :p). I intend to prove myself with this book - but I've found myself thinking "Wow, I hope I can do this, I've never written this much before." Apparently, I have the memory of a goldfish, or the observation power of a blind goldfish - or both. Today, I transferred all of Banded over to Scrivenar and got a word count of 111,946. I nearly laughed. You see my prospected word count for Unbanded is 110,000.

So... I guess my point is... if I've done it once - I can do it again!








Does this happen to anyone else? Do you catch yourself not remembering the credit you earned in accomplishing things? Perhaps thinking you couldn't write something "moving" enough, or long enough, clever enough or maybe make a character "real" enough - only to go back to something you've written and see that you actually have done just that?

Not-Really-NaNoWriMo

Something wicked this way comes!! That's right - it's NaNoWriMo! 

Yeah, I know, it's a little early. You have to understand though, that I've only known about NaNoWriMo for a few years, and the past couple Novembers were times of transition. I was embroiled in distractions... things like... my wedding, moving, etc. I've consistently remembered NaNoWriMo over midway through the month. This year, I'd like to participate! 

Sort of. 

I've succeeded with the first step, and that was to remember it. Unfortunately, I'm not really keen on officially participating because... well... I really don't want to write a new book - and that's kind of one of their very few rules. So, instead I'm going to unofficially participate. Conveniently enough, my projected word count for the fantasy novel I'm working on is 110,000, and- wow, actually, as of right now I'm exactly halfway there. This means that after I write another 5,000 words before November (and I better ~.~ *holds bat up to my Lazy Butt threateningly*) - I will have 50,000 words left til I'm done (give or take, of course). 

So my NaNoWriMo participation will be to write the remaining 50,000 words of my novel. It feels outrageously daunting (especially considering that it took me months to write the first 50,000), but the incentive of finishing is oh so tasty! *slurp*

How 'bout all y'alls? Any of you officially participating in NaNoWriMo? How about unofficially? 

Revved Up! (IWSG)

Not only am I late with this post, but for the second time in a row I'm not posting the Insecure Writer's Support Group logo-link-thing, on account of the technical difficulties that are apparently occurring on Alex's site. That, and my husby's not here to show me how to use it. Next time.

I was looking over my blog today and felt a little wussy-panted. I haven't been posting very much. I mean, I figure I should be racking my brain at least couple times a month! The truth is, however, that I've been pretty hot and cold with writing this month, in general. The hot was two weeks ago. I met my four hour a week goal and pumped out 6300 words. Hurray! Dents in writing are a good thing. The cold would be last week. When I only wrote for about 20 minutes putting out 519 words. There were of course extenuating circumstances, but it got me thinking about motivation, and I thought it might be an interesting blog topic.

I'm interested in getting some feed back for an additional reason that I'd like to preface my statements with. I've noticed looking around at other writer's blogs that everyone's end goal is not the same. I probably expose my naivete, but I was a little surprised. I thought that everyone that wrote was driven by the desire to publish! However, more than once I've read posts indicating that some writers write for the joy of writing, or are satisfied to write for friends and family - or simply speak about publishing as an "eventual goal, but in the meantime (etc.)" - all acceptable and admirable goals. It was an interesting discovery as I'm on the other end of the spectrum. By heavens, I like writing, but if my book does nothing but sit on my shelf as a manuscript, I feel like my soul will fester. I want it to reach the masses! I want to share it with all lovers of the genre! I want to bring another re-readable book to the audience's libraries. I was inspired to write when I found a book that opened a new world to me! I want to do that for another person. There are all sorts of reasons for this desire, and how it's fueled, but that's for another blog post that will likely never see the light of day.

My point in bringing this up - is that since people have different goals, they must also have different motivations. When needing a writing shove, I used to read for motivation. In retrospect this proved problematic for me. I quickly learned that reading genres different than the one I was writing threw of my writers chi. Eventually I realized that for me to stay focused in what I'm writing, I can't actually read much at all. Being a character lover, when I read a really good book, I want to emulate it! Well that can obviously be a slippery slope. So I decided that while this is a real bummer, it's worth it to me to retain my core story and character arcs. I figure I can start reading once my first draft is done. Then I know I won't look back and gag when I realize that I sucked the life out of a book I read only to spit it into my own writing.

While occasionally I'll just force myself (which usually brings out inferior product) - the most common practice I have is to get excited about the success of FINISHING - and this is where I tie into that tangent about goals- *wink*. I often go read the blogs of published authors in the genre I write. My two favorite are Patrick Rothfuss's blog (he's very entertaining) and Patricia C. Wrede's blog (she's very informative). Reading about people who have "made it" gets me excited about the potential success within my reach. Something I haven't done for awhile, but want to begin again, is reading a section of "Robert's Rules of Writing" by Robert Masello. It was a book given to me by my grandma when I was in high school, and she were trying to encourage me. I actually know nothing about the writer, but the book makes writing cool, and is both entertaining and informative. I don't always agree or follow what he says, but the book does what I want it to do: It helps me get writing.

The last thing that I'll occasionally do is get feedback from my beta readers. I have very few at this point... basically two. Coming up with the right questions for them can sometimes kick start my mind. Similar to this, is getting my husby to brainstorm through the problems I'm facing. Sometimes we'll do so over dinner, and can last over an hour, sometimes two. These help a ton, though, usually in a long term way, as I'm usually burned out for the day by the time we're done.

What about you? What do you do when writing doesn't sound fun, but you know you need to do it?

That Being Said...

I don't know if it has thus far been mentioned, but the truth of the matter is this: I'm really excited about this new book I'm writing. I admitted to a friend today that I was worried I had committed some self-sabotage by setting aside what is now a sequel book in order to pursue the writing of the, then prequel, now kickstarter novel. I thought, "What if this is me making sure that I never succeed in finishing a book?" Working in a off-shoot of the "health-care field" I'm afraid I know just enough about the body, the psyche, and so forth to be truly worried about this. However, I've since set this aside. This is the book that needs to go out to agents first. - Ack! I just noticed that my fridge door was left open! How long have I been wasting money with the expulsion of cold air from my Frigidaire!? Gracious! - Anyway, despite the delight I'm experiencing in the creating of my book, progress is slow. Not dead slow, but possibly frozen-zombie-walking slow. However, I've proven to myself that I can break through the writing blocks, and reach (or nearly-reach to be honest) the end goal. Yes, that sentence doesn't sound all that impressive, but the truth is, that near-success achieved the goal that I hadn't realized I was needing. Now that I know that I can finish this book, and likely (most definitely: hopefully) within the year, it's only a matter of doing the writing itself. Silly sounding yes, but once you reign in the psyche you can accomplish new and inspiring things.

That being said... I have made a reassessment of my writing goals and have settled them down to 4 hours of writing a week. It's silly, but I am going to clarify - 4 hours of WRITING - not four hours of sitting at my computer, or even researching. I mean, 4 hours of typing the thought creating my book onto paper. I feel this is achievable under my normal writing circumstances - as I usually write during the weekend, and can expect myself to sit down for two productive hours on Saturday and Sunday. I also feel that it's exceed-able! Which just makes me feel good. This should mean I'll finish the rough draft of my book by the end of the first week of July, if it ends up being as long as I anticipate.

As one last note - in search of some writing company, I've decided to look into the Insecure Writers Support Group. I don't know that I'd say I feel insecure. But lonely for sure. Writing is by nature a "lonely" business. I like to see what other writers are up to though, and wouldn't mind if they likewise looked to see what I was up to. This in turn, has required me to switch my blog to Blogger. *Shrug* Whatever.

Adieu!